If partial self-involvement is intrinsic to the simulationist mechanism, then demanding that sadness be recognized as purely other-focused renders genuine empathy impossible by definition.
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self-involvement(as used in ethics and psychology)
The degree to which your own feelings, interests, or perspective play a role in how you think or act.
simulationist mechanism(as used in philosophy of mind and empathy studies)
A theory suggesting that empathy works by mentally simulating or imagining what another person is experiencing, rather than just observing them from the outside.